Posting my old write-up originally posted on TheBoilerNation Blog, I have remodeled it for submission to our work Valentines day poetry challenge. Enjoy!
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“Let Somebody Go – Coldplay ft. Selena Gomez”
When you miss somebody, let them know.
This is a love letter. You are away, and I am (sighhhh) left to my own devices. I’m thinking way too much and gasping far too little with ached-for orgasmic paroxysms. The ones only you can give me. The ones with you that transport me whenever we’re together. And while I know you’re overworked and should be taking far more time off than you are right now, I miss you.
I miss you in a poetic way. I put your picture up on my computer screen and touch my fingers to it, stroking downwards as if I knew you had suddenly stopped to touch your face, knowing they were my fingertips. I feel almost guilty, my heart aching with longing for you. I find I want to sneak looks at your image without you knowing it. But I know you. I know me. I know us. And I know you sense me. You know exactly how I’m feeling right now. I reread your poems, snippets and stanzas you’ve written extemporaneously for me. Watching each line as it appears, drinking in the sentiments spoken and pregnantly not verbalized. Reading each line aloud, whispered, hearing your cracky, rumbling tenor green like the “ugwu” leaves, layering just over my own voice. Closing my eyes, hands attempting to wrap my aching chest, secured in my biceps as would a village hunters trap.
I miss you with a depth that startles me. My life, as harried and happy and way too full as it is, seems strangely empty. I feel poignancy, a chasm of feeling somewhere deep. You reside in the place you have always known how to delve mischievously into, when it comes to me. My loins somehow shiver without my knowledge as I think of you biting my shoulder just hard enough to hold me perfectly still while your massive hands coax me into chills that smooshes and squishes with wanton promise. Such is the state you drive me to with a word, a touch or, apparently, a thought.
I miss you in an elemental way. Our love is earthy and poetic. We scale the range of many emotional octaves. One moment, we can be in a rollercoaster of emotions until I wonder what planet you could possibly have just arrived from. Then, in conciliatory murmurs, we become tender and exquisitely loving, expressing as much in our silences as we do with words and touches. In the blink of an eye, embroiled in a primal tryst that takes my breath away for days every time I remember…I…relish…savor….
My soul misses yours, even as I know we’re never truly apart. No one can evoke in me the feelings, the depth of being, the sheer longing and need the way you can. I love you. I love you for exactly who you are, simply because it IS the way you are. I don’t want to change you, and I don’t need you to change. You fulfill me. In every way.
I struggled for days, wanting to tell you how much I miss you, and how I’m feeling. I stare at this computer screen, silent, empty, the way I feel deep inside until you’re here, with me, again. How to begin? What words could I possibly start with to describe all the ways I miss you, need you, long for you–love you? And then I heard it, like a whisper at my throat: This is a love letter.